With such a sticky, hot month upon us (at least where I live), what better time is there than to hole up in the bathroom like a terrorist in hiding and get into a book? Here are some ideas for enjoyable bathroom reading. Feel free to keep these reads on top of the towels for easy access, or stack them on the back of the toilet tank for a nice, non-seashell accent.

The Great American Bathroom Book: Full of short summaries of great books, this is good for people who either A. want to be well-read and need to find out what they should read, or B. want to appear well-read and use the summaries for actual reading. There are also author quotes as well as facts and statistics if you’re into reading those.

The Ladies’ Room Reader: A trivia book designed just for women, rumors, facts, stats, quotes and advice are all throughout this book.

Books of Quotes: Any of these will probably do. Make a goal to memorize one every day and you’ll sound like Lao Tzu to all of your friends and coworkers—or at least Grissom from CSI.

Leonard Maltin’s Movie & Video Guide: If you’re the kind of person who always says, “Why read the book when I can see the movie?” this one is just for you. Read about the best flicks to watch and prepare to rent them after flushing.

Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader: After reading 400 pages of stats and facts about everything from science to politics, movies to myths and 46 other topics, you’ll be so full of useless knowledge you could almost compete on Jeopardy.

Comic or Joke Books: If you love your comic books but don’t have much time for them in the world of grown-up doings, stash them in the bathroom and get your fix there. And given that the average adult laughs like fifteen times a day, a little bit of extra humor won’t hurt—so try some joke books, or anything by Ellen Degeneres, George Carlin, David Sedaris or your favorite comedian.

The Latest Bestseller: Along with any books on your reading list, this will help you get through what you really want to read, one bowel movement—or chapter—at a time.

The Newspaper: OK, so it’s not really a book, but if you don’t have time to read it otherwise, why not while you’re on the john?