Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs* by Chuck Klosterman

A Funny Book

Chuck Klosterman is proud of having three friends who have known serial killers, has a list of questions ready to ask potential partners in love, and is very, very funny. In his book, "Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs", he manages to dissect American culture that is no way nearly as high-brow as David Foster Wallace, but maybe two and half times as entertaining, and with almost as many footnotes.

In "Billy Sim", he laments about his Sim character's (Sim-Chuck's) inability to "seal the deal" with the fabulous-looking Bella even when the move to the bedroom has already been made. "I mean, I know she's comfortable with me. She has no qualms about using the toilet when she is standing right next to me, an experience that's light-years more intimate than most kinds of oral sex." Lest you think he is only concerned about one thing and one thing only in the Sim world, he also gets into the deeper questions of the reality behind the Sim character, where he came from, and how he made his money, even going so far as to invoke the Talking Heads. "This is not my beautiful house...."

There is an entire chapter devoted to all things Real World. Unfortunately, to me it seemed there was nothing "real" about his observations of the characters that I could barely (if even) remember at all, but perhaps that is the difference between a TV junkie and a book-a-holic. I think one would have to put in many, many more real-time  hours watching "The Real World" to fully understand from whence his conclusions come. 

Chuck (and I do like the name Chuck Klosterman, there's just something manly about the name) is no less than hilarious when describing his (short-lived) career as a baseball coach. He played to win, starting only the best and fastest for each and every game.  The moms weren't too happy about this and suggested a "rotation" of each player into each position. In typical Chuck fashion, he responds that to do so would be "unprofessional". When asked to abandon scoring altogether, he (at age 16) tells the Moms "Why are you telling me how to do my job? It's not like I show up in your kitchen and tell you how to bake cookies. " That's one thing about Chuck- he's always smooth with the ladies. The larger picture of his tale is how soccer is basically a pansy sport and how the Mid-Western moms wanted their little angels treated with kid-loves, just as if they would have been had they played soccer.  The argument, in my opinion, is a little weak, but you might have to pick it up for yourself and read it if for nothing else than the sheer entertainment value. 

In what perhaps in the best-titled essay in his collection, "The Awe-Inspiring Beauty of Tom Cruise's Troll-Like Shattered Face", he pontificates on the topic of the nature of reality in films and pays a sort of homage (how I love that word) to Vanilla Sky, which he believes to be a very good movie despite others opinions to the contrary.  Naming other movies and situations, he delves lightly into other worlds, but never leaves his movie theme behind.