Get Caught Reading

Lord of the Flies...and not just because May is Get Caught Reading Month! Rain or shine, a dry heat or a humidity that makes your pages damp, it’s always a good time to read. Here are some great places to get caught reading, and the books you can read while people ogle your bookwormyness.

The Beach: Whether you’re there for fun, dragged along by people you don’t even like much (family? friends? cult fanatics?), or just checking out the… um, surf, there’s a book to make you a true beach bum.

Best Reads: Lord of the Flies—aren’t you glad you aren’t on that beach?

On the Beach—counter summer tourists with your stoic glare over the pages.

The Beach House—described as “vintage Patterson,” it’s sure to help pass the day along.

The Bookstore: It’s the best place to be surrounded by fellow bookworms. It smells like books. There are books as far as the eye can see. In other words, this is paradise. If you go for one of the big conglomerates, you can even get a cappuccino.

Best Reads: Anything you want to read really badly but don’t have the funds to pay for at the moment.

In Line at the DMV: Instead of going postal as you wait—and wait—and wait—read something that will calm your nerves. Or something that makes the people waiting with you nervous—either one works well for a nice distraction.

Best Reads: Christine—make them all wonder just what you’re planning on doing with those plates.

War and Peace—as long as you’ll be in line, you might as well bring something that will keep you occupied the whole time.

The Complete Tales of Winnie the Pooh—Curb your rage and need to kill with this classic. Also good to keep the kids from screaming if you’ve brought them along.

The Park: If you’re there with a dog, a lover, or just your own good-looking self, nothing accessorizes your picnic blanket and bottle of SPF 50 like a hot page-turner.

Best Reads: The Twilight series—make your romp in the park a little more exciting—or life-threatening, if you prefer—by throwing a few vampires and werewolves in.

In the Woods—Why not imagine brutal murders taking place, right where you sit?

Garden Spells—Look mysterious while diving into this tale of sisterhood and magic.

The Doctor’s Office: Sitting in those rubbery chairs, assaulted by that clinical smell unique to the place where your weight is always more than you know it really is, you may just need a stiff drink book  to take the edge off.

Best Reads: Always Looking Up—these “adventures of an incurable optimist” (AKA Michael J. Fox) are sure to make you look like you at least care about your health a little.

Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea—On the other hand, why not be up front with your vices?

You: The Owner’s Manual—let the doc you know what’s going on, thank you very much, so no funny business.